Stone CC v Bredgar CC, 24th June 2023

Writing a match report a month after a game is never a good idea. I’m sure this job was delegated elsewhere but I’ve forgotten who it was as well. Details will be therefore sketchy; hopefully the editor will come up with some stuff to fill the blanks. I do remember it being cloudy, and I’m pretty sure Skip lost the toss [he did indeed and Bredgar opted to bowl first – ed.], so in we went to bat.

[Our batting was opened by Bill and Mike – ed.] I can’t even remember my dismissal but the scorebook says I went for a five-ball duck, so it must have been ball of the century [if memory serves, it was a top-edge off the genuinely pacy bowling of Louden, J. – ed.]. Chungy hung around long enough to see the Skipper miss a loopy straight one for just 5, before he then clipped one to mid on (or off) for 15, leaving us 13/2 in the ninth over. Benno then joined The Lord and was VERY eager to score his first run for the club, but alas an 11-ball duck was the outcome despite a suicidal attempt to get that elusive single the ball preceding his dismissal. Rossington and Ryan moved the score onto 57 before the Lord fell for 21, followed one ball later by Reece Lightning, who launched one straight down cow corner’s throat [it should be said that Reece really hit the ball well but it went straight to the fielder at cow corner – ed.]. Scrappy then fell with the score on 67, leaving us with a solid half hour of comedy running between SashMan and Paul [and some handy misfields from the opportunity – ed.], as they nudged the score up to exactly 100 before Paul was run out for 8 off the last ball of the innings, his batting partner not bothering to move a muscle and heroically protecting his average. SmashMan top scored with a very solid 30.

Not much to say about our bowling efforts as everyone toiled without much joy. The Skipper made a breakthrough in the tenth over with their score on 28, and Candy held onto a catch late in the day to give Lightning a wicket, but Bredgar accelerated thereafter and knocked off the runs in just over 25 overs to condemn us to defeat. Sashi may have got Big Pat but disappeared before we could take a photo [in the interests of full disclosure, he and I also shared the Sh*tbag award for our slow scoring rate: travesty, injustice, &c. – ed.]. We keep our run of not winning at home game this year going for another week.

– Bill