Ide Hill CC vs. Stone CC, 30 April 2022

Up to Ide Hill’s postage stamp sized ground for game two of the year. A spot of Friday night shenanigans with the line up after Chungy caught the lurgies saw a welcome return for Tom Rogers and his lovely hair into the team on a sunny-ish day, on which I won the toss and elected to bowl. This did not please Muttley, who was evidently still pissed from the night before and was hoping for a bit of a kip.

I spared the poor lad from his usual opening the bowling duties and threw Tom and Sashi at Ide Hill’s openers, albeit without any luck. Half chances came and went for most bowlers (Ross and I counted about nine) as they worked up to 110/0, until Dicky got their skipper to drag on one ball after he went past 50. Their Number 3 had smashed a ton last week which worried me but he holed out to Muttley (still pissed) at deep square to give Deadly Dicky his second wicket. Dory continued his good form by getting their next man to glove one to Stumpy just after Muttley (still pissed) dropped one, followed by Tom deservedly grabbing the wicket of their other opener who was suddenly launching arms at everything. Sashi and Ryan then took one each (good grab from Pusey in there somewhere) as Ide Hill closed on 177/5 – a good effort from us after them being 110 without loss. Only poor old Muttley (sobering up now) went wicketless, undeservedly, despite bowling an 8-over spell straight through. Sorry mate.

Teas dispatched, during which Stumpy gave us a graphic description of how to collect a turd sample (happily he’s fine by the way), and a quick start was in order if we were to chase down the required runs. The reply got off to a wonderful start as I creamed the third ball straight to their skipper at mid on, who dropped it and said fuck. Next ball I gave him another easier chance and was walking off saying fuck for 0. Dicky was in at Number 3 and immediately hit a couple of 4s on his way to 11 before he tickled one on. Then Gracie was caught in two minds and dollied a slower ball up to mid on. Time for the old guard to rescue the day (again), as the Rossington Renaissance continued with a fine 33, while Stumpy displayed his masterly defensive technique to finish with 11* off 62 balls. Ryan failed to trouble the scorers before Dory and Muttley (definitely sober now) crashed a few boundaries before the close of innings, Stone replying with 97/6 in a hard fought draw.

Good spirit and fielding again from all the chaps this week. On to the awards – Dicky has the company of Big Pat this week for his fine all round efforts, while Shitbag goes to Walkie Sashi for having a full-on phone conversation while umpiring (at point rather than square leg) during Rossington’s knock. The unbeaten start continues, but with both Skipper (injured knee) and Vice (injured left tit and cancelled holiday – long story) missing next week, the pressure is on to keep the run going. 

– Billy