Apologies for the tardiness of this week’s tome but her Ladyship has been spending most of the week away from work and on her back. As much as that sounds like fun it is due to a bulging disc in her lower back. I believe she had to carry her own purse for an hour and she just wasn’t prepared for it. That particular member of staff is now seeking employment opportunities elsewhere.
Chelsfield turn up in dribs and drabs due to the variances of the M25 and so we get them to bat so we can at least get going. They look young, they look fit but we look ready.
Bin Man and Chung Fu to provide the opening salvo but it was they who let loose the bombs. With hardly a bad delivery the Number 2 for Chelsfield thrashes and caresses 21 from the second over of the day from Chung Fu. He can clearly bat properly and all were good shots. What he doesn’t realise is that we can also bowl and Chung Fu snaps him up with a well-disguised slower ball soon after and he edges on. They continue to play well and run at about four runs an over but Bin Man and Chung Fu keep things very tight on what is a decent batting pitch and are well supported in the field. Our openers get one wicket each. Compliments to both bowlers who were in my ear, in a good way and not the way the scullery maid is, about plans and fielding options. Next comes Mr Pimms, finally made an honest man of, and despite his absence falls into rhythm pretty quickly and takes 2-21. Admittedly both from fairly crap balls but they couldn’t get close to the good ones. Walkie Talkie and Dory making simple catches seem quite difficult but they did hold on (Dory made sure we all remembered his catch for hours afterwards). They also get a bowl each and are showing great improvement from last season with better lines, better lengths and better understanding of their own game. Dino bowled seven quality overs on the bounce and had the oppo struggling to day anything against him and finished with 1-22 which doesn’t really tell the truth. Scrappy had two overs at the end when the Skipper finally remembered he could bowl and realised that he should have bowled him earlier as he remained unslogged with 1-7 from two overs. We put in an outstanding fielding performance with only two tricky chances going down and managing three run outs. Dory did his best to miss one, taking the ball over the stumps and then standing back three foot and launching the ball to effect the dismissal. They close on 155 all out which was an outstanding performance on our part and they thought was 20 or 30 shy of what was needed. Little did they know.
TEA. Well, it would have been tea all round if Bin Man had remembered the milk. Early shout for SB but he knocks on a neighbour’s door and comes back with a 4-pint jug. Early shout for performance of the day. We scoff down a good spread despite the lack of sausage rolls and an odd appearance of meringues.
WE BAT. Well we try to bat. Saddam and Skipper march out and seemingly look comfortable scoring at about 4 an over until Skip misses a straight one. It is not easy to report what happens next, except in numbers, as four further wickets fell whilst I was getting changed. Chung Fu, Scrappy, Goodfellow and Bin Man all return early totally hacked off with cricket, the weather and everything. 30 odd for 6 and with victory gone, it seemed a long way to a draw to. Saddam still there and in good touch until he drives and gets an edge behind. He gives himself and thoroughly good talking too, he gives the gloves a good kicking in the dressing room, takes a shower and all is well afterwards. It was the only bad shot he played. Stumpy is the man to bat with the tail, and who else would you choose? Him and Mr Pimms actually take it to the bowlers a bit and start to carve it about. Slates top scores with 18 before he takes one swing too many. Dory and Walking breeze in and out for the third and fourth ducks of the innings. Dino arrives and we can all see the shop shutters closing. The oppo miss a few catches and we know we are going to save it. 14 overs, 13, 12, 11, it gets closer and then, and then, Stumpy flays at a wide one and is caught behind. All over and we lose by about 80. A disappointing loss as, at tea, we felt we were in it. Still, Chelsfield were a good bunch to play against and we hope to play then next season again.
PUB. Dominated by Dory. He gets performance of the day for a good spell and a catch. He burns the flag of tradition by getting SB of the day as well. We had many contenders. Several ducks, Skipper losing the game by picking wrong batting order, Stumpy out slogging but Dory outdoes them all. Two quotes: “I know she is into me because I am hot”; “There are loads of girls on cruises”. Walkling was a close second, with his worrying stalking of any pretty girl on Facebook, but Dory couldn’t understand why we were laughing which made it all the better.
We were all in the pub, bar Chungy, who tucked himself under Sarah’s thumb for some family dinner. The atmosphere was great and that is what makes us so good as a team, as a squad and as a club. Semtex turned up ( or had moved in) with the new born Matthew strapped in. Michelle was again there and along with Roger Dine must our best supporter.
Vice is in charge next week so as long as we don’t need milk or knives for the scones it should all go well.
– Ross