This game was best summed up by the eruption of frustration and existential fury from our skipper for the day, Vice, upon being dismissed. It also confirmed, as if confirmation was really necessary, that some former players are not to be relied upon and indeed are to be actively sworn at when they fail to show up having promised to play. This situation left us very short in the field and having to borrow a player to make a fist of the game. Even so, it was going to be tricky with our nine playing their eleven and so it proved.
Borden won the toss and elected to bat, which suited our usual gameplay anyway. The bowling is opened by Slater and Walkie, to which there is a familiar pattern. Slater keeps things reasonably tight but is unlucky with the handful of chances that come along – Walkie is occasionally wayward, but picks up two good wickets in the process. Not that I can complain about waywardness. Given my chance to bowl and getting a decent spell (six overs), I proceed to send down eight wides. My excuse is that, midway through my spell, Jez drops a catch (a reasonably straightforward one at that) at mid-off and my confidence took a hit (nonsense, of course, but then I’m the one writing the report). The fourth and sixth wicket stands are where we struggle to create and take chances, adding stands of 50 and 27 respectively. Rich chips in with two LBW wickets and, when Vice brings himself in the latter stages, he also picks up two wickets. The player on loan from them, Harrison, is a real asset, despite not taking a wicket (only 21 runs conceded off 8 overs). Nevertheless, Borden end up with 176 for 8 overall.
Despite the fact that this is a good score in the context of our recent games with Borden and we are a couple of men short, there is a degree of confidence that we can chase this total down in the time available. Slater and Jez volunteer to open proceedings, and Mr Pimms signals his intent from the off, hitting a 4 off his second ball. But his innings is a case of a good time, not a long time, and he departs for 11 off 9 balls in the third over. Vice joins Jez and goes on the offensive to undermine the oppo’s early elation. This he does successfully with a succession of well-hit boundaries, before Jez is trapped LBW in the fifth over. Walkie joins his captain and plays a very defensive innings, which is well suited to the situation, at least while runs come at the other end. Having seen off the opening bowlers and with the most ‘senior’ player on either side coming in at first change, there is a rush of blood to the head and Vice is out to the first ball of said player’s first over. Cue the soul-rending shout that all of us are familiar with (having done or thought similarly when dismissed in such a fashion) and we are up against it at 51 for 3 off nine overs. Stumpy comes in to drop anchor, but Walkie’s tenure is not long in its demise, making 11 off 28 balls. Rich joins Stumpy, who is now telling each new batsman to play things on the ground. Irony strikes when he then hits one in the air off the bowling of the venerable but accurate oppo player who is really turning the knife (if not the ball, not that it matters for taking our wickets) and is caught well in the field. I join Rich and we again try to batten down the hatches, but Rich is bowled for 1 with 19 overs remaining. Vice is umpiring at this stage and looking as if someone has just shot his dog and it has bled all over the leather interior of his Ferrari shortly before it is clamped and then towed away. ‘Just enjoy yourself’, he says to me and Oaten, who has joined me at the wicket. I don’t know how and proceed to deadbeat everything. Quaker, on the other hand, unfurls some choice shots and hits three boundaries before being caught close in. Harrison then joins me and I take a leaf from Stumpy’s book by encouraging him to keep it tight and watch the ball carefully. But the lesson is double-edged and I then flash at something outside off that was very leavable – another bloody duck! Stone are all out for 87 and Borden have won their first game for three years.
The post-match is very much a post-mortem – there is no point in dwelling on it. Needless to say , there is no Ainsley award and I think the SBotD goes to the team overall in the final analysis. To the victor go the spoils and I can’t begrudge them.
– Paul