Tonbridge Foresters CC vs Stone CC, 25 May 2019

I am doing this report with out the scorebook so if I miss stuff, make errors or generally get it wrong please e-mail your displeasure to

Another old foe to contend with, our friends from Tonbridge Foresters who contain our favourite Captain on the circuit! The pitch looks in really good condition and, as they have a few players who what to get away early, we opt for a 30-overs affair.

We win the toss, put them in, and everything seems to go well. We catch everything and are blessed by having the guest star Edd “buckets” Boyling to raise the temperature in the field with three catches (and one drop – can’t be nice all the time). Walkie continues to thrive with the new ball and even hurried up Steve (he of the yellow hat) to take a caught and bowled. Dory took the new ball from the other end, remembered which line to bowl from, and kept it tight as well. I must admit I was concerned with the team we had as we had a mixture of not very much but we were better than the sum of our parts. Bar that one by Edd, there was not a drop in the field, we had energy and enthusiasm right to the very end, and the bowlers were ably supported. I have no idea of figures but Dory and Walkie returned good figures [Dory: 3-15 from 4.2; Walkie: 2-27 from 5 – ed.]. James Jessup got some useful wickets with some lovely leg spin [2-20 from 6 – ed.] and his Dad was there too [2-20 from 3 – ed.]. I think we kept them to 124 [the oppo subsequently revised this to 125 – ed.] and half of a job was well done.


We batted, or did we? Pussy and Skip were quickly in and quickly out again both to poor shots and after 6 overs we were 5/2. It did not get worse but it did not get better. Everyone tried their best but we did not cope well with the surprising bounce that they managed to cope with a good deal better. Despite some entertainment from late slogging we were hustled out for 70 odd (I think) and for the second time this year we failed chasing a low total. Batting order? Probably my fault but at least none of you were in Waitrose? (Aldi, Lidl, Asda, Morrisons, Sainsbury’s – insert whichever is appropriate). The good news is that we were in the pub by 6pm and this brought smiles to all of our faces.

I believe Dory got ‘Big Pat’s Big Pat on the Back’ but SBotD evades me [alas, in the interests of posterity, I (Semtex) have to own up to this one – I was awarded the infamous golden night soil for absent-mindedly taking a lefthand guard when I came in to bat – ed.]