Thanks to the sterling efforts of our fixture secretary, last Saturday saw us reignite a rivalry bigger than Celtic, Rangers or Liverpool, Man United. It was indeed Stone CC vs Higham and Mockbeggar.
Arriving with 10 of Stone’s finest, we were all confident of a winning result going into the game. The opposition skipper tried his best to unsettle us and to be fair he certainly won the first battle of the day. Demanding we play an overs game, winning the toss and sticking us into bat.
The responsibility of opening our innings fell to the love-drunk Slates and sober Blainey. The difference in attitude to opening is a clear reflection on where they were mentally on Saturday. Slates, full of confidence had a go at anything within reach and quickly amassed runs whereas Blainey dug in deep and tried not to focus on that pint he’s due in three weeks’ time. Both methods had their merits and before long we were 30 -0 off five overs. Whether it was by chance or because the opposition’s fielders had finally joined the game, our exuberant start sadly didn’t last. Slates, having started to look scratchy
decided he’d had enough of spin after 3 balls and was bowled for 25. Shortly after Semtex came in and lost his first life without troubling the score.
With our innings delicately poised at 45-2 the ever reliable Stumpy joined Saddam at the crease. Usually this combination will strike fear into the opposition’s hearts and cause Semtex to crack open another
beer but alas this week the opposition wasn’t scared. And to be honest, rightly so as holding back on his shot, Blainey chipped one up to the only fielder of their team who could catch and was out for 20. Jezza, on his long awaited return played some lovely deft shots behind square and was unluckily dismissed for 7. It’ was great to have DC back amongst us on Saturday and I’m sure his innings is a sign of great things to come.
With Scrappy in next at 6, he had one of the best seats in the house for Stumpy’s dismissal. Arguably it should have been called a no ball but Ross’ payment reached Nick’s bank account just as the ball hit the
bottom of off stump on the 3rd/4th bounce. Out for 12. The scores amassed by our top 5 were somewhat mirrored in the second half of our innings, Scrappy bowled for 10, I was caught for 15, Oaten went for a duck and Walkie Talkie was bowled for 9. At 117 -9 Semtex was given a second life by the opposition and joined Dino for the final stand. Not wanting to become the first player in history to receive a pair of ducks in the same innings he studiously worked away a single and much to the fielder’s confusion raised his bat in the direction of the applauding crowd. A couple of balls later out innings came to a close, Dino bowled for 9. Stone all out for 119.
Facing the wrath of the oppo’s batsmen first was Walkie Talkie and myself. Both of us struggled for consistency in our opening over and whilst I managed to grab two wickets later on (2 for 24 off 5), young Walkie found himself being hit all over the place. After we retrieved the ball from a neighbouring damson field Jordan’s spell finished on 0 for 30 off three overs. A tough week but I’m sure he’ll bounce back stronger for the remaining games of the season. Dino was brought on 1st change and it would have proved to be a captaincy masterstroke had I not dropped a dolly really tough chance off our spin king. His spell finished with 2 wickets for 27 off four overs.
With the oppo galloping ever closer to their target, Scrappy and Slates gave us hope of snatching victory from the jaw of defeat by taking a few quick wickets. Despite out best efforts and Blainey’s
constant chirping to the batsmen we lost by three wickets. Slates finishing with 1 wicket for 29 runs of 4.5 overs, Ryan 2 wickets for 8 off two overs.
As it was only 5:30 by the time we finished most of us headed back to the Malt for a beer or three. Player of the day was awarded to Nick Slater for top scoring, taking a decent catch on the boundary and
picking up a wicket. The real fun was had when it came to decide Shitbag of the day. Contenders were myself for being outnegotiated by the oppo, Jordan Walking for his pink ensemble and Tom Rogers for his social media output. Now for those of you who do not follow Tom Rogers on Instagram I suggest you do. It’s comedy gold. Attached is the Rick Astleyesque photo that earned him the prestigious golden poo trophy, the caption is “Hair slicked back, all the lady’s love that.” Please do not refrain from mentioning this when you see him next.
Roll on next week. Best of luck to you chaps. I’ll see you in September.
– Jordan